Mary Blackchurch-Woman Addicted

if I should go back to this..my old theme..kinda missing it although it needs a little fixing up to get it back the way it was.

Then again I do dig the one I’m using now. Here’s an up close & personal look at the new theme I’m thinking of using. What cha think folks, better than the one I’m using
now or no??

Click on link for China Red theme:

http://themes.wordpress.net/testrun/

Guess I’ll make up my mind this week-end. The day has been an easy ones so far..no headaches or aches of any kind..a little restless as I’v been trying to cut back on the dreeze..can’t even believe how much I’ve used/been using over the winter. Actually it’s a year now I’ve been going like this..don’t really even know how I managed it. For now I have enough methadone to get me through any bad withdrawals..but what happens when I’m back down to having only my normal daily dose available to me instread of this stash I’ve built up. Can I sustain on only juice again..God I want too..and excuses aside…this is getting harder and harder to kick as time goes on. To find myself once more carrying a double addiction..well suffice to say..I don’t even want to go there..on how I let myself slip yet a-fucking-gain. It’s at the point..ha that’s a joke..I’ve been at this ’supposed’ point..hundreds of times before. But anyway for the purposes of getting this post out I’ll go with that line.

Yea so..it’s at the point where if I even talk about it I can’t stand myself..the whining, the complaining the thoughts. The same excuses  eagerly lined up, nice and convenient in the back of my mind for the day they’re needed..like today. No need to get at any ‘real’ answers..no need to sit and wonder why. I’ve mouthed them and sold them all before.

Slap Slap Mary

Later gators..have a great week-end

Head laying heavy in both my hands…inside & out my physical self is stiff as a Queen’s Foot Guard at Buckingham Palace. The silent invisable tears of a lifetime already lived..but not lived try to escape..to squeeze themselves out…they are having no luck on this day.

Still afraid to release the torrential floods yet barely held back behind the gates of my soul. Wondering at how time etched its way past me into the now..at how I must have planned to let nothing & no one in..so nothing or no part of me could be taken. I mean I must have had a plan right..or did I slip into this barely readable personna whose head I now hold in my hands without knowledge..without realization..without a plan.

A bitter laughter escapes from somewhere inbetween my throat & lips as my plan to beat life at what I perceived was its own game..falls in scattered ruins all around my feet.

Defeated

Now who would take this baby out of his cuddly
cozy home. He looks so content, some people just plain suck.

Taggen aka Spike
Crocodile stolen from Aquarium

Unbeknownst to the workers of a Norwegian aquarium, a thief managed to walk out carrying a crocodile this past weekend. The employees were stunned. “I think whoever did this knew what they were doing,” said Bergen aquarium director Kees Oscar Ekeli, suggesting the young crocodile was smuggled out in a bag during the busiest hours on Saturday. He feared that the four-year-old would have poor chances of surviving outside its habitat in the aquarium, and said it would probably die from stress. Taggen ( or Spike in English), is a long smooth-fronted caiman also known as Schneider’s dwarf caiman. The reptile usually eats “a good mix of fish and meat” and can grow to be about 2.5 meters (8.2 feet) long. Authorities were quickly notified of the theft and a reward of 25,000 Norwegian crowns ($4,900) has been offered.

Source:
Rueters